Better than two little pills

People trained in these sorts of things tell me that these two little pills in my palm are supposed to cure whatever crooked rottenness it is that troubles my mind.

Take one each every morning, the doctors say, and one each every night, and — sure, you'll feel a little tired and more than a little groggy — but the anxiety will ease its way out of your system. Like antibiotics attacking the little life-suckers that make you bedridden, these pills attack that wicked imbalance, the doctors say, and you will feel more at ease, you'll cope better.

Well, that may be true, but I know that I rarely feel better than I do with two shaking hands gripped tight to the railing at the base of a live music stage. All that fantastic noise, so loud with amplification and scream that it's almost visible. You can see it hit you, see it creep its way up your nostrils and through your ears and straight to whatever brain section it is that controls emotion.

It melts there, a balm for the burning wounds of life, and quickly soothes away all the freakish worry.

And it does so better than any two little pills. And it doesn't make you groggy or put a bad taste in your mouth.

And I can't be alone; it's not possible I'm the only one with such a perverse addiction to the sounds of the soul. I couldn't bare it if I was.

And that is why I think music will survive in my hometown, the setting for all my manic depression, and the setting of the pretty snow skies and summer clouds that give me room to think. Better than two little pills, music can help us through.

And if you doubt my optimism, leave me alone, and let me have it, because it isn't hurting anyone.

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