Keeping It In Perspective

In 10 days, it will be my one-year anniversary of receiving my kidney transplant. As the date nears, I have been spending a little time looking back on the 12 months that have passed since then, and, at the urging of my closest friends and family, I have begun to consider the changes that have occurred since October 6 of 2009.

I feel a little overwhelmed, actually, at taking down a list. I could make 2 columns, one for 'Before' and one for 'After', and simply put in things that I could not do pre-transplant that I now can. Or I could look back through pages of journal entries over the past 5 years and take stock of the unhealthy state of my emotional self through my experience leading up to surgery and compare it to my daily mindset now. Or, if I want the gritty details, I could ask my mom, my younger brother, or Jake, my husband what they think has changed the most since they stood at my bedside wringing hands and watching my struggle through my recovery.

I do not know if I feel that this 1-year marker is something I should celebrate or not, although my improved health is without question deserving of some type of rejoice.

The more I consider it, the more I come to realize that this October 6 should hold the same determination and yearning for a constant movement towards better, healthier,  and happier that I felt when I woke up last October 6, hours after another person's organ had been inserted into my body. I tried not to focus on what I could not do, and instead spent what energy I had on getting to that next step forward. When the going got a little easier, I continued moving forward, and never once stopped to look backwards. Going backwards was not an option then, and it is not an option now.

As October 6 draws closer still, I am casting only hasty glances towards last year's events, as I dare not waste a second for fear I miss out on all the joy I have been granted now.

 

Comments

[GoofBahl]

You are my hero!