LSJ Blogs: John Schneider

Murders can be murder

“Murder”:  The term used for a flock of crows; also, what  Deb Sarrano of Lansing would like to do to that flock.

Sarrano wrote: “I live near Jolly and Cedar, where there are crows everywhere all night in the trees.
“They crap yellow chunks all over the cars —  so much that the windshield is covered in the morning.  The daily car wash bill is getting old and I can’t find any details on line.”
I looked into this phenomenon a few years go, and learned that this is the time of year crows congregate. A bird expert I spoke to called the gatherings “large overnight roosting groups.”
The locations are chosen for their ability to provide shelter, and their proximity to food sources.
And, no, Deb, the Animal Control folks won’t come out and chase them away.

Cellos no threat to scrotums, after all

Those males who straddle the overgrown violin can now relax.
“Cello scrotum” is a fictitious malady. Thank goodness.

The wrong Valentine message

Another reminder that NOTHING is simple anymore …

Chomp, chomp, chomp

One more reason why this is the winter of our discontent: marauding deer.

And I thought he just looked unemployed

Mark Grebner, who says he’s always  “more or less unemployed” (when he’s not executing his duties as a member of the Ingham County Board of Commissioners, of course), offered some suggestions for my impending one-week furlough.

If you could blow it up and start all over …

Let’s assume the infrastructure stimulus package gets approved and mid-Michigan can completely reinvent a stretch of road, or intersection. Any ideas? 

They don’t already have one?

Job opening at the state Department of Management and Budget: “Buy Michigan First coordinator.”
I hope they don’t outsource it.

Actions, or just words?

Speaking of service, what do you think about President Obama’s “new era of responsibility.”

A shocking development

A new electric heater cut Ellen Feldpausch’s gas bill by $65 the first month.
As for her electric bill, well, that was another story.

Feldpausch wrote:
“EdenPure Heaters are advertised by Paul Harvey who says they reduce heat bills by 50 percent, but neglected to inform us our electric bills could triple.”
Feldpausch went on to say she saved $65 in gas the first month, but spent $253 more  on electricity.

 

‘Hero’ worship

Chesley Sullenberger, who  famously landed the plane in the Hudson River last week, is obviously an excellent pilot who exhibited remarkable grace under pressure.
But is he a hero?