LSJ Blogs: Mike Hughes

Fun with the auto hearings

Having some extra time on my hands, I accidentally watched a bit of the auto-bailout hearings today. I didn't do it on purpose, but it was on a set when I was walking by. I caught some drones and flashed back to my favorite story from the PBS profile of Barack Obama.

Obama was just starting as a U.S. senator, sitting at one of his first hearings. The chairman (Joe Biden, ironically) was droning on and on. That's when Obama wrote a note and passed it to his aide. This was the aide's first note from his boss. He opened it eagerly, discovering the following message, in its entirety: "Shoot. Me. Now."

(Also, please read my previous blog on Rosie O'Donnell, variety shows and Beyonce's neckline.)

After watching a few minutes of a hearing, I sympathize with Obama on this. I'm also glad he has a position now that a) gets him out of most hearings; and b) allows him to shut Biden up at will.

One more thing: Let's be fair about this. The car companies have been giving us loans for years. Now they want one from us. That's more than reasonable. And if they miss two payments, we'll hire a repo guy to break in and take their factories away.

Yes, variety TV is fun

In her blog, Rosie O'Donnell has said she won't be doing another "Rosie Live" variety show. That's too bad; flaws and all, it was fun.

And yes, there were plenty of flaws.One large-scale stage act was poorly shot. The immense talents of Harry Connick were tossed off in one verse. And I'm not sure Alanis Morrissette's song ever ended.

Still, the opening number was terrific, there was lots of humor and it was simply fun to feel the crackle of a live show. We were reminded of that a week later, when two networks had variety specials back-to-back.

At first, it kind of felt like NBC's "Christmas at Rockefeller Center" and CBS' "Grammy Nominations Live" were both live. Then we noticed that both specials -- done on opposite coasts -- had the Jonas Brothers. I know those guys are young and eager, but time-warp technology is still in its early stages.

My main worry during the night concerned apparel. I'm pretty sure Beyonce set the record for the lowest-plunging neckline ever worn while singing "Ave Maria." This was outdoors, in New York; she was barely dressed, while other people had overcoats, scarves and even an occasional stocking cap.

Did she get the wrong weather report? Or was she just doing a subtle tribute to another network's Victoria's Secret fashion show, later that night?

I missed that last one, incidentally, and regret it. You know how I like TV variety.

The hottest guy EVER?

So let's say you were an Okemos teen-ager, around 15 years ago. A new kid, whose dad was starting work here as a GM engineer, arrived in time for his sophomore year. He was cute, the way new-guys-in-town always seem to be. He stood 6-foot-3, had great hair and became a starter on the soccer team when the goalie became ill.

What's more, he had a pleasantly quiet personality. Guys liked him; girls liked him. You probably thought, "Good things will happen to him." You probably didn't, however, think, "He will be the fifth hottest guy on TV, ever."

That's just what has happened, however, to Tom Welling, Okemos High Class of 1995. According to a new list which aol.com plans to release today (Tuesda, Dec. 2), the star of "Smallville" (8 p.m. Thursdays, CW) is  the fifth-hottest hunk in TV history.

"His boyishly handsome face has aged perfectly from teenage Clark through to his more grown-up, 'Daily Planet' days,'" the list says. You can catch the partial list right now and the top 10 as soon as AOL posts it, at http://television.aol.com/insidetv/2008/11/04/tvs-50-hottest-hunks-ever/

You might notice a bias toward right-now. George Clooney (No. 2) is the only veteran surrounded by Patrick Dempsey (1), Josh Holloway (3), Taye Diggs (4) and Welling.

I'm no expert on hot guys. (Really. Honestly. I'm not. I'm going to watch the Victoria's Secret special Wednesday and everything.) But I'm not sure these guys are hotter than Tom Selleck (10), Pierce Brosnan (13), James Garner (16), Blair Underwood (25), Dean Cain (30) or Michael Landon (36). Having talked with both men close-up, I can attest that Taylor Kitsch (7) is definitely hot, but no match for Jon Hamm (a mere No. 45). And what kind of a world couldn't even find a place on the top 50 for Bruce Willis? And ... eh, well, never mind. I've got to go check and see when that Victoria's Secret show is on.

Semi-liking "Makeover"

There are many reasons for a self-respecting TV critic to dislike "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition." The show is manipulative, repetitive, maybe deceptive.

Still, we can't dislike a show that gave a deserving Holt family a new house. (An OK house on the outside and a great one on the inside.) Or one that reminds us that most people everywhere are good.

(For comments on cheerier matters, please read the blog that follow. It views "Bolt" and "Jack and the Beanstalk" and other youthful matters.)

The "Makeover" flaws are obvious: The show tries way too hard to manipulate emotions; at the slightest urging, heart-tugging music returns. It repeats the same things over and over within each hour and from show to show. And in this one, at least, it sort of deceived people. In truth, the Nickless family's farmhouse looked great from the front; it was a classic brick structure dating back to the Civil War. That may explain why the show constantly filmed it from the side or back.

All such flaws are instantly forgiven, though. Rounding up a brigade of volunteers, this show has given the family a terrific house.

From the outside, it looks so-so, sort of too busy. Inside, the boys' rooms seem overdone at times; these guys may tire of them in a hurry.

But the main inside rooms look spectacular, with a wondrous use of natural material -- wood and stone and such -- to create free-flowing beauty.

There were some favorable references to Lansing along the way. That included Ele's Place and the best possible glimpse of Lansng Community College, with its health-sciences building as a backdrop. And, of course, Mayberry builders.

I've especially liked the Mayberry spots at the Parade of Homes. One all-Mayberry neighborhood has a wonderful sort of small-town charm. These people are great at creating family-size charm. Now they've been part of something very big and (flaws and all) very good.

The joy of being 4

If you have a choice on this (and you might not), try to be a 4-year-old. That works well for Kasia, who visited during the Thanksgiving vacation.

Kasia liked many things, including the Meridian Mall play area and the MAC swimming pool. But let's focus on two she highly approved of -- the movie "Bolt" and the family musical "Jack and the Beanstalk"; following this is a separate blog on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition."

-- "Bolt" may be the world's first animated, existential movie. Borrowing a bit from "The Truman Show," it has a dog who doesn't realize he's being filmed. He thinks he really does have superpowers; once he's out in the real world, he needs an attitude adjustment. It took Kasia and I a while to get into the concept. Once we did, however, it was a fine romp; it mixed dabs of drama, humor (hey, hamsters inside balls are inherently funny) and action.

-- The first half of Riverwalk Theatre's "Jack and the Beanstalk" is great fun.  It is in the second half, however, that the show becomes a total delight.

That's when the giant (Edrick Haleen) has his solo, a booming testimony to the fact that the biggest get whatever they want. At various points, it's sort of been the theme song of British, American and Soviet leaders.

It's also when the silver harp (Emily McKay) sings: "I get in a dither when he calls me a zither."

Since this show has dialog and lyrics by Stan Gilll, it overflows with odd rhymes, cheap puns, grown-up references and a kid-friendly chase scene. Kasia and I both enjoyed it immensely.

Lee Helder has beautifully directed a cast led by Laura Johnson, a 24-year-old state employee playing Jack, age 10. Mary K. Hodges-Nees crafted the dandy harp and goose costumes. And it was a pleasure to learn that McKay (as the semi-bitter harp) is the daughter of Tricia Morscheck McKay. Her mom, once a superb teen actress, is on the stage crew, her first stop at Riverwalk (and its ancestor Okemos Barn) in 19 years.

The show continues for two more weekends, with tickets at 482-5700 or www.riverwalktheatre.com. You'll like it.

The unnamed holiday

As I drove into work today, I noticed that something was missing: People. You know, the ones you don't know, except that they get in the way when you're driving somewhere. There were few on the streets heading downtown; there were only a couple at the big convenience stores.

Now, this is sort of a good thing; at times, I dislike other people. (Not real people, the ones I know. I like you a lot, for instance. Just the strangers who take up my space on the roads and in parking lots and check-out counters.) I was glad to see fewer of them, except for one thing: I suspected that someone had declared a holiday without telling me.

The Friday after Thanksgiving used to be a lone day of work, between the holiday and the weekend. Somehow, that sort of evolved into a second holiday for everyone except store clerks and, I guess, newspapers. Then people said if there would be this four-day vacation, then maybe there should be the day before it (you know, the Thanksgiving Eve vacation) as a holiday, too. Many of the schools this year took Wednesday off; we're heading to the Thanksgiving Week vacation.

I like the idea, overall. I just have one request: Next time a holiday gets started, could someone please inform me?

TV shows teeter toward death

This is a precarious time for fans of TV shows. Networks prepare their mid-season adjustments. Cancellation rumors float around; most (but not all) end up being true.

Here are a few of my comments; please add yours:

1) ABC is apparently giving up on "Pushing Daisies," "Eli Stone" and "Dirty Sexy Money"; of the scripted shows that were wobbling, only "Life on Mars" will survive. I never warmed up to "Dirty Sexy Money," which gave us no one to care about. The others, however, represent a time when the network took bold chances in style and theme. I'll hate to see them go -- especially "Daisies," which is brilliantly filmed and written, but maybe a tad too precious for the audience.

2) By comparison, is anyone mourning the CW Sunday shows? Did anyone see them? Why would a network slip shows on the air, undetected. Is this some sort of stealth strategy we don't understand? For whatever reason, "Valentine," "Easy Money" and "In Harm's Way" lived and died in obscurity.

3) Tim Busfield of East Lansing brought some visual zest to "Lipstick Jungle" as its principal director. That wasn't enough to save a show that was soapy without being fun. And I never did understand why Victory was so mad at her billionaire boyfriend.

4) Besides "Lipstick Jungle," NBC is giving up on "Own Worst Enemy." Still, I'm delighted that "Chuck" is surviving. NBC, which can't be picky, also is keeping "Knight Rider" and "Kath & Kim."

5) NBC's plan is elaborate: It will rest "Chuck" and "Heroes" in January, at the same time that it loses its Sunday football games. That means vacancies on Sundays AND Mondays. It will fill them with a mish-mash of things, ranging from reality shows to the Golden Globes, from "Saturday Night Live" specials to a fantasy miniseries ("The Last Templar"). The scrambling period ends with the Super Bowl on Feb. 1. Some of this sounds awful, but let's wait. One of the shows is a short-term dance competition from the people who do great work on the summertime "So You Think You Can Dance."

6) And maybe the best news is that "Friday Night Lights" will be back to network TV, beginning Jan. 16 on NBC. Viewers deserve some good, scripted shows, you know.

They cancelled whaaat?

TV viewers are often stunned by sudden cancellations, but nothing like this: Late today, the CW Network announced it is dropping "Valentine" and "Easy Money" and "In Harm's Way." This will be greeted by the following exclamations of shock:

1) "I've never heard of those shows."

2) "I didn't know CW had shows on Sundays."

3) "I did kind of know CW was around ... sort of."

On other nights, CW sometimes gets teen viewers with "Gossip Girl" or "90210" or such. On Sundays, however, it had a new master plan: Rent the entire night to an outside company, MRC, which would then make its own shows. These shows would skip all the usual steps, including previews and interviews for TV critics. They would just sort of be on the air.

And then,  of course, approximately no one saw them. On Nov. 16, Nielsen says, there were 700,000 viewers for "In Harm's Way" (a reality show about dangerous jobs), 600,000 for "Valentine" (mythological characters life in modern Los Angeles), 500,000 for "Easy Money" (a loan-shark family) That means 50 people saw "60 Minutes" for every one who saw "Easy Money." Even some cable series topped the show by a 9-to-1 margin.

So now the shows are gone. The CW explained at 5:52 p.m. today that it is inserting a rerun lineup of "quality scripted series" and "contemporary theatrical films." You'll note that it didn't say "quality films," an apparent concession to the fact that that the first film, at 8 p.m. Sunday, will be "The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course."

There actually will be some quality involved. Reruns of "Everybody Hates Chris" and "Jericho" air at 5 and 7 p.m., respectively. Mostly, though, this is a semi-shock to most viewers: Shows they didn't know were on the air are now off the air.

Santa's staff reduction

The decision to use only seven reindeer is "a necessary adjustment to the economic times," a spokesman for Santa Claus said today.

The majority of people will still get their gifts on the evening of Dec. 24, he said. "The rest will get them on Dec. 26. Mr. Claus, of course, has the 25th off for the holiday."

The spokesman wouldn't say which reindeer is being laid off. An insider, however, said it definitely won't be Dasher or Comet, both considered to be exceptionally fast. "It will probably be either Vixen or Cupid. Those two can be a distraction when they're together."

Some people have shrugged off the news, but others saw it as aypical of the general overreaction, with many places making unneeded cuts. "You see way too much of it," said one economic expert. "Kentucky Fried Chicken has slumped since it cut to seven secret herbs and spices. A 'Music Man' revival failed to satisfy with the song, '63 trombones and a Couple of Kazoos.'"

(An aside here: Yes, this blog is kind of silly; please also see the previous one about the late Richard Thomsen and his immense contributions to local theater.)

The cutback trend has caused general alarm. An extreme came when an early draft of a Barack Obama speech was leaked to the press; it pledged full faith in "these great 46 states."

Although there was no word on which states would be laid off, the comment caused grave concern in Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota and, of course, Alaska.

In professional sports, the cutbacks have varied. Baseball teams have tended to eliminate either the second baseman or the right-fielder. Football teams eliminated the offensive left guard, partly because no one could remember what he does; one foolishly laid off its center and was unable to start a play.

In music, of course, bass players have been laid off.

"This trend is simply wrong," one person said. "It probably violates one of the Nine Commandments."

Government service will continue, one official said, but on a reduced level. "We'll still make emergency calls; just remember to dial 9-1."

Memories of a master

Gus Kaikonnen was calling from Corsica, with the same thing that filled other people's thoughts: Memories of Richard Thomsen, the great co-founder of BoarsHead Theater.

"I thought he was a world-class director and a wonderful actor," Kaikonnen said. He was also businesslike, when need be; he and John Peakes created a professional theater, in a town way too small for such a luxury. And he was a fascinating human -- imposingly smart, disarmingly funny.

But if we're going to pick one thing to remember now, let's go with his boosting of original plays.

Thomsen had just finished doing a play set in Michigan and asked the playwright if he knew any more. Well, there was this one by a Finnish kid from Detroit; it had received a tentative New York show. That was "Time Steps"; Kaikonnen had disliked the first production, but marvelled at the second. "When you have actors as good as John Peakes and Carmen Decker and a director like Richard, it's going to be good."

It was superb. Crowds came and BoarsHead repeated it in two other years. It also went on a new-play spree. One year, Thomsen insisted on nothing but premieres; "we went deep in debt," Peakes said.

But the right premiere or near-premiere can work wonders. Kristine Thatcher -- a teen-ager when she started at BoarsHead in its early days -- follows the Thomsen-Peakes formula as artistic director. Last year, she premiered Paul Slade Smith's wonderful "Unnecessary Farce"; crowds loved it. This year, she has the near-premiere of Smith's "Hymn and Carol," opening Dec. 3. She continues a tradition that Thomsen and Kaikonnen began decades ago.

Enough; salt the roads

OK, I'm declaring an arbitrary end to any less-salt-on-the-roads policy. Today (Tuesday) the roads are scary and we're reminded of the basics: In the northern part of the world, we NEED road salt.

To save money, we were told, roads will have less salt and less plowing this year. I like the saving-money part, but this morning the roads were downright treacherous. The Haslett and Okemos schools are on two-hour delay. And this is still early -- four days before the end of the Big Ten football season, nine days from Thanksgiving, six weeks from the official start of winter. Saving a few pennies will cost us a lot in crumpled fenders and battered bodies; let's get some salt.