Aubrey Marron
Bob Johnson
Bob Kelley
Penelope Tsernoglou
David Harns
Keith Kerrigan
Jerry Scarborough
Heather Spielmaker
Victor Jackson
Timo Kokko
Bob Lovell
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has issued a brief statement today that she will resign as Governor later this month and will not seek reelection. Noticeably missing from her statement was any reason for this decision.
So here are some Top Possible Reasons for Sarah Palin's resignation:
- She wants the time to devote to her presidential ambitions. (I shudder even as I write that last sentence.)
- She wants to star in a reality show
- She wants to host SNL
- She wants to get Tina Fey back on SNL
- She is busy taking care of her daughter's baby so her daughter can go out and make more
- She is jealous of all the news coverage SC Governor Mark Sanford has been getting lately and wants some of that attention
- She wants to hike the Appalachian Trail
Feel free to add your own reasons...
Aubrey,
You have become too enthralled with Bob's writing; it is beneath you.
Posted by: Timo Kokko | July 03, 2009 at 05:14 PM
Indeed. What a disgusting display of meaningless nonsense. I'm no fan of Palin but there's nothing useful to discuss with a blog post such as this.
Posted by: Andrew Smith | July 03, 2009 at 05:55 PM
This is kind of like the Michael Jackson news coverage. Who cares? It will have no impact on national or Michigan politics.
Posted by: Ceart | July 03, 2009 at 10:04 PM
What a FANTASTIC top seven list. This takes me back to the blog in its heydey.
I hope we see a "Swanee" tune for Palin soon, Aubrey.
Um, duh, I wonder if Palin is quitting because she knows something ugly is about to come out and she wants to get an early start ducking it. Yabetcha.
This will be the final nail in the Palin political career coffin. Which makes me think, by the way, what great names "Nail" and "Coffin" could be for a couple of hick kids from redneck parents living in a Ted-Stevens special house that oil bribes built.
Great post, Aubrey! I'm going to read it a couple more times quick before Timo's ten or twelve daily posts tomorrow push it off the front page.
Posted by: Trig's Nanny | July 03, 2009 at 10:33 PM
Maybe her daughter really did get K'd up by A-Rod. Or more likely she wants to cash in. Why work when xenophobic rightards will throw money at you for screeching "socialist" and "Bill Ayers"?
Posted by: Bob Kelley | July 03, 2009 at 10:44 PM
Holy crud, it's all suddenly making sense to me.
High profile Republican governor...
Rambling, disjointed news conference...
Incoherent explanations...
Palin is the ARGENTINA GIRL! She and Sanford have been having a tryst in ARGENTINA, ALASKA (population 246).
Mark Sanford may be Trig's real father. Either him or Michael Jackson's dermatologist.
Please GOP, please, whatever you do, do NOT slow down this schaddenfraude express.
Posted by: Trig's Wet Nurse | July 03, 2009 at 11:16 PM
...and let the "Palin Derangement Syndrome" begin.
Laughing WAY out loud at you libs.
Her glass of water on the podium still has ice in it and you libs are already doing backflips.
She really gets under your skin, eh?
Hold on, I gotta laugh some more...
Ok, Bobs, Aubrey, Dave--post more stuff. I can't wait.
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
Posted by: EmersonsZen | July 03, 2009 at 11:17 PM
She cost McCain the election, her folkyness, accent and winking do not ring true, her intellect is below par (our vivid memory of the last one who delegates and follows because of their lack of intellect), but lets face it with the right type of marketing (vote folky, vote god) it can be sold to US, history tends to repeat itself. God help us!
Posted by: Benito | July 04, 2009 at 12:38 AM
On a more "clinical" note...
Aubrey, Bob, Dave--
I understand attacking the political candidate, but why go after the family? The children?
Have your wounds become so infected that you must lash out against all, regardless of station?
I may be relentless against Obama and his policies, but I feel no motivation to attack his two children. So I have to wonder what pleasure it is you derive from directing your venom towards the family...?
Read your posts.
Unfortunate.
Indeed.
Posted by: EmersonsZen | July 04, 2009 at 01:07 AM
Trig - It is spelled "Schadenfreude" and means in English "joy over damage (suffered by somebody else)".
Posted by: Jon M. | July 04, 2009 at 07:03 AM
Jesus, you guys look like the Britney Spears guy, eyeliner all smeared, screaming: "Leave Sarah Palin...*sob* ALOOOOONE!"
Got another reason:
She's about to be indicted under an embezzlement scandal for that house that Todd Palin built "with his own hands, and a little help from his buddies" at exactly the same time that the Wasilla Sports Complex was being built, but no building permits were ever pulled, with suspiciously the same kind of windows as the Wasilla Sports Complex... same folks that build Uncle Ted's house (and he was convicted, and would have stayed that way were it not for Eric Holder) etc, etc, etc..... Well, you see where that's going...
Posted by: brynb2 | July 04, 2009 at 07:17 AM
Spare me the tears for Mooselini. She used those kids as campaign props and spoke of her daughter's courageous decision to have a child, a decision that she would deny to every other woman in America. Her campaign rallies resembled lynch mobs and it was her narrow-minded half-witted rhetoric that fanned the flames. If she gets indicted, great for the justice system. That would give me almost as much cheer as the sight of Dick Cheney in an orange prison jumpsuit.
Posted by: Bob Kelley | July 04, 2009 at 08:49 AM
From a lefty site http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x8509335
10. Joining the Alaska National Guard just in case Putin rears his head again.
9. Needs the extra time to buy up and shred every copy of this month’s Vanity Fair.
8. RNC accidently emailed her the speech meant for Mark Sanford.
7. Plotting revenge against Letterman is a full time job.
6. Wanted to knock all the Michael Jackson coverage off of cable news.
5. Premiering this fall: “Regis & Sarah”.
4. Finally decided to study up for the Katie Couric interview
3. Heard Biden had left the country and is hoping to be considered for the VP job again
2. Is moving to Minnesota to head up the recount for Norm Coleman
1. Joining cast of Saturday Night Live as a Tina Fey impersonator.
Posted by: Bob Kelley | July 04, 2009 at 09:31 AM
Dudes--
The Alaska Daily Mail is running a story saying Palin quit cause she was arrested at an airport last month. Security frisked her at the gate and found seven pounds of crack under her skirt.
Posted by: Trig's Pony's Veterinarian | July 04, 2009 at 09:34 AM
Why is so confusing for Americans in Sarah Palin governor to do this thing? Is very clear thing.
When am I lame duck I am think why stay here in job? no good for head. Press is rough gang. Always am I drunk. My daughter is teen whore. So I quit my job and making Putin to be new leader. Is logical choosing.
Sarah Palin governor can see me do this from her house. She do same. Is very clear thing. Clear as vodka in January.
Das Vadanya, silly American woman!
Posted by: Boris Nickolayevich Yeltsin | July 04, 2009 at 05:38 PM
Sorry. I don't see how this news affects us in the least. Palin was not going to be on the 2010 ticket anyway. This personal vindictiveness against Palin and her family just shows the true colors of you libs. Nasty, nasty, nasty. When Obama is impeached sometime in 2011, I hope I can keep from dropping to your level while doing my Happy Dance.
Posted by: Ceart | July 04, 2009 at 10:45 PM
Dave (Boris Nickolayevich Yeltsin) - There is no "c" in Nikolayevich
Posted by: Ceart | July 04, 2009 at 10:57 PM
Sarah the Quitter deserves every shot she gets. It would have been different if she had run her campaign with any sense of decency, but she chose to be the attack dog and fan the flames of hatred. Maybe she'll turn to dog racing and sign up for the Iquitarod. Maybe she'll get a job with Faux "News". More likely she'll milk her undeserved fame for as much as she can get out of it, just like Joe the Unlicensed Tax Cheat. I can guarantee she won't be on the 2010 ticket, the next presidential election isn't till 2012. And Obama has as much chance of being impeached as Palin has of giving a coherent interview. Let's hope the silly witch just crawls back under the rock from whence she came.
Posted by: Bob Kelley | July 04, 2009 at 11:37 PM
Yes, Captain. I meant 2012. Now that Bush and Palin are both out of the picture, who is the next target of your misinformed hatred? Maybe Jindal? Pawlenty?
Posted by: Ceart | July 05, 2009 at 01:20 AM
She doesn't own anyone who reads the LSJ any explanation. The "Top Possible Reasons" make for good humor... but humor only.
Posted by: John Feazel | July 05, 2009 at 07:57 AM
Maybe she's finally decided to take Larry Flynt up on his offer?
Posted by: Mr. Tang (The Socialist) | July 05, 2009 at 09:54 AM
Little C, it all depends on the kind of campaign they run. We don't need to worry about Jindahl after his big national speech in which he sounded like Mr. Rogers on a lithium drip. Pawlenty could run a good campaign on the issues. Of course, McCain could have as well, but instead chose to become the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers. He rationalized it in his own mind by saying it's all Obama's fault, since he didn't agree to the series of town hall meetings.
Funny how all the right wingers are up in arms about the attention Palin's family gets. Even John McCain woke up to chime in about it. He must not remember how he joked about Janet Reno being Chelsea Clinton's father. Rash Limpbrain is all agog about the "unfairness" of Palin attacks, he must not remember how he showed a photo of the "new dog at the White House" which turned out to be Chelsea. Like everything else, IOIARDI (It's OK If A Republican Does It).
Posted by: Bob Kelley | July 05, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Are anchor babies even eligible for POTUS?
Posted by: brynb2 | July 05, 2009 at 10:16 AM
I don't know what I will miss most about Sarah Palin.
Maybe the time she dangled her baby out the window of that hotel in Germany.
Or the poster! What pubescent male didn't have a Sarah poster on his wall in 1977, her feathered hair beckoning and her shotgun shells pointing at him all hours.
Or how about that hilarious resignation speech with the twenty nine exclamation points in it. I've never seen a gubernatorial resignation speech posted on the official state website that contained emoticons. Never till now, that is!!?! :-)
Oh Sarah. We've lost so many cultural icons lately, not you too!
Just kidding. You sucked as governor, sucked as a VP candidate, sucked as a politician, and sucked as an American. Enjoy the indictment.
But that poster was hot.
Posted by: MJ 4 EVUH ! | July 05, 2009 at 11:06 AM
Sarah Palin herself doesn't upset me. What upsets me is that almost half of my country would actually vote for a ticket that has her as a VP candidate and not see anything wrong with it. She's uneducated, she lacks common sense, she can't even keep her own family out of trouble. But the other half thinks that she could keep the country from sinking further? Again, it's not her, I'm all about climbing the ladder. If someone wants to give you a chance, grab it with both hands I always say. But only a fool would give someone like her a chance. Is it because she plays to your lowest instincts (xenophobia, fear & self-righteousness)? Anyone who thinks she would do a great job as a VP, please, please explain to me your thought process. I'm not joking, and I'm not being snarky. Tell me why you think she would have been a wise choice and not a liability to McCain.
Posted by: Populista | July 05, 2009 at 07:05 PM