Oh you $#^#^%$ StoryChatters!

I tend to stay away from the places where the evenings end with brawls in the parking lots.

Testosterone is about as helpful in civil discourse as jet fuel is in extinguishing car fires.

I never really figured that I'd be hanging out regularly in a place where all that "Not only am I right but you're an idiot" talk was just part of the daily ritual, but here I am. Pop into any of the StoryChat discussions and you'll see anonymous Battle Creekers woofing at each other with the kind of respect that U.S. Rep. Henry Hyde and President Bill Clinton saved for each other in the later years of their morally challenged terms in office.

Democrats belittle Republicans; hawks verbally abuse doves. Global warming believers mock skeptics; those who believe police are too tough on criminals trade vicious insults with others who believe crime suspects deserve every bruise they get and more.

And we all know why that is: It's because you can remain anonymous in StoryChat. For me, I wish it weren't so. I'd rather see civil discussions of the facts of the matter, and for respectful people to learn from one another about the facts of the topics they discuss. So I wish you had to register as yourself to join the discussion.

How often does someone enter StoryChat to post a comment with an open mind, seeking guidance from the group? Far less often than they make the most strident, forceful argument they can. The predictable response: Simple refutation. Like a schoolyard argument, it's usually "Is so." "Is not!" "Is so, jerkface!"

This isn't your Jerry Springer moment, folks. This is intended to be the most intelligent place on the planet to discuss issues of importance to the Battle Creek area. Dragging it down with personal attacks, simple refutation, goading, cheap shots and the same old tattered lines out of the 2004 national political party playbooks is no path to enlightenment.

Here's a bit of advice for those of you whose posting totals are up over, oh, let's say, 100. Maybe you find yourself posting the same message more than once, and you've picked out a few chatters with whom you have a beef and on whom you rail mercilessly.

Try the All-Bran this morning. Take a nice walk around the neighborhood. Admire the signs of spring. Grab a little cat-nap mid-morning. Immerse yourself in your work. Double-check your NCAA basketball bracket. Are you sure Creighton's going to beat Nevada? Whatever you do, stay off StoryChat. Just this once. Please.

And before you go back on, think it over. Does it really feel good to snipe back and forth at the same folks, over and over? You're Creighton; they're Nevada. Creighton. Nevada. Nevada. Creighton. Wow. How exciting, for you and everyone else.

Of course, none of this goes for Danimal and Warthogg, who used to fight like little brothers to the point of being entertaining, but now make me sick with their syrupy sweet moments of agreement.

CRANKY BOB

While I'm at it, I might as well get back into the swing of things and have a go straight at the very worst of StoryChat — or at least the most revealing. For in that anonymity, we've seen pure, straightforward homophobic comments and the most bitterly white-against-black racist statements I've read in the North since the 1960s. It was all stunning stuff, and I haven't forgotten the names of the posters and the contexts in which they posted. But don't get me wrong: They are us, and we have a long way to go together to get to where we all want to be.

Comments

[Alex]

I once had a supervisor tell me "Don't send email when you're angry" because I had a bad habit of going ballistic in my replies. It got me into trouble a few times. Now it is one of my rules to live by whether it be an email, a reply to a post, a complaint letter, anything. When someone winds you up don't reply right away and let the anger do the talking. Instead take some time to get your facts around and let the steam blow off. Otherwise you're just playing the same game they are.

[Tina]

Hey Bob, I didn't realize I could comment here. Wow! The story chat sure gets peoples shorts in a bunch eh? The threats are what freaks me out, now I'm not sure what I should comment on anymore. Bummer, I got some good ideas and such from a few people on there.

[Vertu Phone]

funny!keep going,i'll attempt to watch it.